Forgotten Promises.

So far, 2011 has been a year of misunderstanding, confusion, deflating pride, crushing stubbornness, tough decisions, rebuilding, and relaying foundation. It’s been a rather tough year already. With things that I didn’t expect would happen, but definitely ended up needing to the fullest degree. Its not over either. I’m right in the middle of what feels like the worst of it. It affects me to the point where food doesn’t have any real taste, I can’t focus, and I feel sick to my stomach at times. It sounds ridiculous, but that’s how it feels. One of the people I trust the most told me that to change things I needed to start with changing my mindset. Good idea so that I can get things moving and back in order in my heart and life. Bad idea if I don’t want to feel as if there are vultures attacking my heart while getting every ounce of air knocked out of me and losing some of the things I hold most dear. I feel pulled every which way, my thoughts are scattered and I feel as if time is moving 20 times slower. In the midst of it, God is getting my attention in most odd of ways. God is good. One of the things that has become a huge part of my thoughts is that God will never break a promise. It’s a great reminder especially in the season of life I am in. So through all of the muck and dirt that I feel I am in, Gods love shines bright. Through the weakness I sense in my heart and in my spirit, Gods strength becomes greater than I’ve ever known. I feel a bit silly because it’s easy for me to forget what God has always been faithful with. So all the promises God gives me through His word and in so many other ways are put off to the side, because they’re not tangible. It’s definitely easier to focus on what I can literally feel myself going through rather than something I can’t see. 

Obviously that’s not where everything ends. I know God’s promises are true and are not folly. He reminds me every day of His love and His grace. I love God! I’m so excited for what He has in store for me in this next year. It’s scary, because I know it’s going to be something totally different than I’ve ever known. He’s already removing things from my character and from my life that do not need to be there at the moment and filling them with Him. thats how it should be. It’s tough, but I know God has my best interests in His heart. So I will try and seek Him to the best of my ability. He’s soooo good! 

I’m not sure if this even makes sense, but I hope it does to someone. 

Just know God’s love never fails.